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Removing gang tattoos offers new beginnings
The stains of a violent life left behind are still visible on his skin but hours of agonizing pain unveil a new beginning.
Full Story: Inland Valley Daily Bulletin
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Richard Bocanegra, you are a stand-up man in a world of followers. To walk away from friends and family for the sake of your son, and probably your own soul, is to be commended. I wish that your story would get a lot more press than just this one newspaper but, hopefully, its message will be heard in every city and become the start of a lot of people taking back their lives. Stand firm in your convictions. God Bless you and keep you strong to take care of your precious son.
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To the people who started this program, big KUDOS. To the people who go through the program, more power to you! The thought of getting a tattoo makes me cringe. The thought of getting one removed and going through the pain twice ... makes me think root canal!
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Sure. Remove the tattoos from the gang members for free... But I never saw anybody removing Holocaust tattoos for free. And surely, we all feel SO HORRIBLE for this guy. I mean gosh, he has just suffered so much. Poor him. What about the people he terrified as a gang member? Probably held guns to their heads? Robbed them? Robbed them of their sense of security, and privacy, and comfort, and well-being. Trauma. Think of these things and the REAL victims. Come on.... you're trying to get people in a dangerous society to feel sorry for this supposed "ex-gang" member. You never leave the streets. Ask anybody. You still have homeboys and people that are looking for you and will stop at nothing. I feel so bad.... right. Think about all those people he has come across violently. Do they get even a free milk? F*$% no they dont. They got the shaft. And this guy gets to walk freely around now, free of mind, free spirit. He gets a second chance? But when do the victims get their comfort and sense of security back? NEVER. He raped people of their rights, he has taken part in costing this state BILLIONS on gang control units, probably tagged up all over covina, and held guns to peoples heads, always costing us. Now he gets something for free? Right. That makes perfect sense.
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I think your looking at this all wrong. This guy admitted to being jailed for his stupidity, and now is looking for a change in his life. Like he said, it was the only life he knew, he left his " so called Friends" and his family to make a change for the better, that had to be a very hard decision to make. I dont think he is here to look for anyones sympathy, he is only trying to show that if you want to make a difference in your life, you can, if you want it. And god bless this program that is offered to these guys, giving them the chance to change. Would you rather here that Gang member commits more crime, or ex gang member trying to make a change for the better? I choose option 2. My husband was in a "gang" when we met, after dating about a year, he chose to be with me rather than his " homeboys ", He didnt have the portrait of a gang member, no tattoos, did not dress the part, but his affiliates noted differently. he never took me to the Neighborhood, he always said I was above that,I never grew up in gang area's, and when we met, he didnt look the part either, and I will never forget when I had our son, I had made the choice, to walk away from him, or him to walk away from the neighborhood ties, and one of the "homeboys" made the comment " you can take the homeboy out of the neighborhood, but cant take the neighborhood out of the homeboy " we proved him wrong. he walked away, and never looked back, we've had 19 strong years, great influences to our kids, live in a great area. People can change, if they want to, and I thank god everyday that my husband made the change before things got bad, he was 20 when he left the neighborhood, and 21 when he turned the other cheek and made a better life for himself, and our son. Never the less, I give these guys a lot of credit for making the decision to change for the better. |
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I commend you! It is never too late to change. Your family should be proud of you,we all make mistakes in life. There are no perfect people walking this earth. I hope one day your son will look up to you with pride.
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The Holocaust is another subject entirely. This young man has to start somewhere to clean up his life, and I commend him for starting on a new path. He is going to have a hard enough time as it it. Thank God there is an organization willing to step in and help the people who want to make this change for a better life. Our society in general will benefit from the work done here. Do not give up young man! |
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To "Knew Many Gangmembers" (by the way, interesting name, considering it does not coincide with your story)... I believe people can change. I also appreciate the programs that are out there to assist in this type of change. I support these programs to an extent (and if you educated yourself in convicted felons and statistics along side the crimes committed, you would be particular in condoning certain programs, and disregarding others).
I never said people cannot change. So I think you missed my point. My point is, what about the recovery programs for the victims? Thats great your husband was able to come to grips with reality and grow up and do the right thing and escape 'the hood' before it swallowed him whole. But there are plenty of people out there that wake up each morning and make the RIGHT choices. They wake up and they dont think about selling drugs or illegal weapons. They dont sleep next to their 9mm for that matter. These people chose the REAL hard path, not this BS "Oh the hood is so hard". These people forced themselves to go to school, get an education, and work hard to do the right thing and not trespass others, or bring harm or fright upon others. And these people .. yes these people.... the people who try SO HARD to be good citizens-- these are the people that are victims of gangs and the violence. Its simple. People respect those who do not screw up at all vs those who think the law does not apply to them. I dont care if it was 10 or 50 years ago. A gang member still hurt people and their families at one time. If those families can forgive them, then so can I. but I stand, and always have stood to support those who do the right thing. Those who do not break the laws. Those who do not take the lives of innocent bystanders. Those who do not bring drugs into my country. Those who fight to keep our streets clean and free of violence, drugs, gangs, trash. I support those who care first about our children, and lastly about gang members. Its called PRIORITY. Gang members do not have it. And its called, COMMUNITY, wherein the good people bring good to others. Not "THE HOOD", where they shoot each other and ruin the lives of children. Once a gang member, you can change all you want... But you cannot expect to convince Joe Blo to choose the gang member over the nice guy that worked his way through college and never sold drugs or knives or guns. Its just not going to happen in this society. The gang members, current or ex, will always be looked over. Why? Because there simply are better people are there. People that have always made the right choices. As an employer, I will choose the one without a record. Even if the ex gang member comes in bearing gifts, and wearing a fancy suit, because I know that odds say, the guy without the record is going to have a higher rate of success, because he has already proved himself. |
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Careful FFwife, it's a long way down from your high horse.
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Looks like you live in a world that is only black or white with no room to let in different colors. How sad it would be if we all looked at it like that. |
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I've never been in a gang but I understand the consequences of living in constant fear for your life and the lives of your family as I grew up in a little town called Compton, maybe you're familiar with it. Many choose to join a gang because they're just bad apples but, some also join because they don't feel like they have much choice. Unless you've walked in his shoes how can you be so condemning of this man? How can you throw stones at this man for at least trying to change his life for the better? In-so-far as the holocaust victims not being offered free tattoo removal, have you ever asked one of them about it? I have, and you know what they told me? They said "this tattoo is not my shame, it's the shame of Hitler and the nazis. I will keep this tattoo to remind the world of what happened in hopes that it will never happen again". Your comparison of holocaust victims to gang-bangers is a slap in their face. Be glad someone chose to get out of the gang life, be glad that he'll probably have the right stuff to keep his son out of a gang. Be happy for society that there is one less bad guy out there. Sheesh... |
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“Brutally honest” Joined: Jun 23, 2008 Comments: 142 Redlands ISP: Yucaipa, CA |
I can see the both peoples points here. But what I do what to add is that this man HAS agreed to change his life and it is one less gang member off the streets. He is also another example to give kids the courage to turn their lives around.
Let not waste our energy focusing on what he has done in the past. It is the past and cannot be changed. God will judge in the end. |
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“Brutally honest” Joined: Jun 23, 2008 Comments: 142 Redlands ISP: Yucaipa, CA |
Praise, very well said.
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Mr. Bocanegra,
I read the article and I am so inspired by your commitment and determination. You are living proof that people deserve a second chance to a good life. Your son will be ever greatful and proud. God Bless brother! |
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I agree with you to an extent, I too know many victims of violent crimes, I have known people that have been shot, killed, paralized, and it is awful! Fortunatly, my husband was never a drug dealer, didnt sell guns, and never harmed anyone, it was the association of people that he was involved with. I'm not a supporter of gangs by no means, but not all gang members are killers, gun or drug dealers, some are individuals looking for acceptance or as my husband said, a family, his mom was single, worked A LOT, his dad passed when he was very little, and unfortunatly he lived in a predominantly white neighborhood, and a teacher made a comment to him that he shouldent even bother trying to fit in and he should hang with his own kind, such words from someone who is supposed to me a mentor, telling a 14 year old child this, someone who was in school, trying to do the right thing, so he pretty much was stereotyped, and his only acceptance were the gang members that he ended up calling friends, it wasnt something he woke up one day and said, hey I'm gonna gang bang, it was what he had at the moment. But as he grew up, and became responsible for himself, he changed. AND, in case you didnt know, there are victims rights also, and the majority of gang violence is gang to gang, they are hurting eachother. Yes its sad, but unless they are willing to change, it will be a vicious circle that will never end, and this young man, made a slight difference by chosing change, I commend him for that.
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Thank you MamaBee. I know what you mean about seeing both sides of this issue. I have no problem with leveling the fullest extent of the law against gang-bangers, or just criminals in general, for all the horrid crimes they commit. I can honestly say that I wouldn't think twice about locking them up for life, or, God forgive me, give them the death penalty. This man, however, is trying to do a good thing and I want him to know that I admire and respect his resolve. He's quite possibly one of the few positive role models that other gang members have. He's proof that they can get out of the gang and they do have a choice. It won't be easy for them, anything worth having usually isn't easy. Hopefully he'll influence a few anyway. |
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Charles Dean, Its not a horse. Its a pedestal thanks. And I worked from age 14 solid to get here. Im not coming down anytime soon, so bug off and get in the topic if you have something to say. Be careful Charles Dean, even the bench warmer may be called into the game once in a while. You might have to come up with something knowledgeable to say.
Praise... I too have had the honor to speak with holocaust victims. And I think its irrelevant that you think one conversation and one victim who admires their tattoo represents all of them. So if your plan of attack is to go back and forth all day about who has talked to who and hearsay, you too need to come up with something else to rebuttal with. I havent slapped anybody in the face with my comments. I have represented a group of holocaust survivors that were not offered tattoo removal for free. And you can represent whoever you think will let you. SAW... Its not a matter of seeing the world in black and white. I have lived on both sides of the tracks. I have been dirt poor, eating bread and water, and I have dined in some of the finest restaurants in the world. But for that, I can thank myself. You dont know me, and I do not know you. I do not presume to tell you how you see things, and I do not presume to judge you, let alone pretend I know who or what you are. So as far as I know, you could be a gang member yourself, just preaching from your side of the hood. You also have nothing to say but a one-liner, so I can tell you do not wish to partake in alternative points of view. So open your mind, and stop with the stupid one lined responses. You bring nothing to the table. And lastly, I urge you to read what I initially wrote and beg your mind to comprehend. 1. People CAN change. But very few actually DO change.(Actions speak louder than words) 2. I could have got into a gang. I could have become a hooker. I could have gotten into drugs and drinking. There are a lot of things I COULD have done, in my situation. Do not tell me that because you grow up black or hispanic and in the ghetto that you have no choices-- but the gang life. This is ludicrous, and almost comical. But more than anything, it is in EXCUSE. I was born in the ghetto. I was actually kidnapped as a child. But I went to my ghetto school with the ghetto kids and put on a ghetto smile and worked hard everyday to become better than the ghetto. Ha! My teachers didnt even speak ENGLISH! So dont tell me about overcoming the surroundings you are born into. Its possible. Which makes it possible for EVERYBODY. They made their beds, they can lie in them now. I share no pity for losers. i share nothing in common with the people I was around as a child, as a teen, and even people I have come across as an adult. They are weak. You can say NO. I did it many times. I have black and hispanic friends from the worst parts of LA, and they will all tell you it is possible. The only people that tell you that the world you are born into is the world you will stay in, is still stuck on the other side, weak, and unable to pick themselves up and DO SOMETHING FOR THEMSELVES instead of waiting for somebody to help. Because I promise... that helping hand rarely comes. So ultimately, My point is this: You make your own choices, and every choice has its consequence. Never expect others to make it easier for you. If anything, look at those people as hurdles. Success is available to EVERYONE who wants it badly enough. And NEVER, EVER expect forgiveness. Forgiveness is not mandatory darlings. It is a choice by those who have been trespassed upon. Never expect forgiveness. Its cool this guy is getting the physical evidence of his past removed. But he will pay for his sins, now and for eternity. Its called KARMA. And like I said before. He can remove these scars, but can the victim's scars be removed? Never. Its just sad that the bad guy gets this attention, and the victims are forgotten. End. |
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I'm sure a holocaust survivor "could" have their tattoo removed but frankly, do you know of any of them that would want to? I've not known any that want any of us to forget the halocaust and literally wear the evidence on their sleaves. Gang membership is voluntary. The holocaust wasn't |
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AOL |
It would never even occur to most gang members to ever remove their tattoos. But Mr. Bocanegra is one of the few that recognized that tattoos are an integral part of the gang mentality. It's a link that forever keeps them tied to the gang lifestyle even when they've left it behind. That link can draw them back into it, identifies them to others and can even get them or one of their family killed.
It's a basic lack of respect for themselves that permits them to allow their body to be used as a canvas. Tattoos aren't bad, and can be beautiful when used to adorn a body. But when used to advertise who you are and what type of person you are they become something else entirely. Mr. Bocanegra realizes this and should be commended for taking the step to break that link to his past. It's truly sad that when a gang member honestly tries to better his life and the lives of his family, that someone, rather than look at the good he is doing instead tries to find a way to tear down this honorable achievement and bring up an entirely irrelevent subject like the tatoos of holocaust survivors. The holocaust ended over 60 years ago, and there has been ample time to remove those tattoos if the people even wanted to. If anyone or any organization wants to help gang members that want to turn their life around it should be recognized for what they are doing. Not have someone grabbing at straws looking for obscure ways to criticize them. Nobody should use a tragedy like the Holocaust as a way to show their annoyance at present day people trying to better their lives. It's disrespectful to the Holocaust survivors to be used like that, and it's disrespectful to the person trying to turn their life around a better themselves. |
Perhaps I should have said "spoken to them." My grandmother and grandfather, being two of THEM. I have/had relatives imprisoned in the concentration camps. I have worked with, and for, many others so please, cut with your condescending crap. To a person, they have all stated that they wore their tattoos with dignity and that their only hope was that they would remind others of what had happened and what could happen. Your comparison is still a slap in their face. I'm sorry if you have no understanding or compassion for anyone trying to better themselves but, that's obviously your problem. Too bad that you are so jaded by life that you cannot make room for people changing. I'll pray on my grandparents' grave for you that you can be more forgiving. |
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AOL |
PRAISE, that was very well said.
No one should feel "special" because they were poor and "could have" joined a gang but didn't. I'm sure just about every person in this Comment section was exposed to gang life, knew people who slipped into the gang lifestyle, and some may have even been in a gang themselves at one time or another. We all "could have" become a gang member, but most didn't. But that doesn't make me feel "special" or want me to put myslef on a pedestal. It just means I dealt with my circumstances and came out okay. Not everyone does. But any of us who are familiar with the gang lifestyle also knows that all gang members don't have victims. For every "bad" gang member there are eight or ten who never commit a crime. They just want to belong, so they join and "claim". They enjoy the attention of being seen as a "gangster". Their only so-called crimes are usually underage drinking or smoking a joint with their homies. Contrary to popular belief, all gang members aren't out doing robberies, burglarizing or doing drive-by shootings. It's a small minority of the gang that actually does those things. The rest are just hangers on. I've known many gang members that had no "victims". They were just dumb enough to join a gang, never hurt anyone, but nevertheless have been judged by their tattoos. And for those guys especially I am glad to see that they can have those tattoos removed. Don't get me wrong, there are and have been a lot of bad gang members, but a large number are and were just dumb kids making a dumb mistake. |
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