Why do some fathers walk out of there kids life and dont look back?

[Missing You]

My mom is a single mother, she does her best for me and my brother and she dont ask anyone for anything. But i miss my father, she dont never say anything about him, or try to locate him! All she says is he knows the phone number and address if he wants to talk to you he will call or visit.
Do you think its her fault hes not around or is it me just needing someone to blame? I miss him!!!

[Jewelz]

Missing You, can I ask how old you are?
If your father does in fact know your address and phone number how is it your mother's fault your father has no contact with you? Does she hide letters/parcels or gifts he sends? Does she hang up on your father when he phones? Does she tell your father you are not home when he phones?
I believe that the parent that doesn't reside with their children, has a duty to maintain and sustain the relationship with their children or I belive the old 'Outta sight, outta mind syndrome' starts to set in. I think they have to make a little more effort than the parents that get to walk in the door to their children everynight.
I'd like to think your mother's reluctance to talk about your father is her way of carrying out the old saying 'If you haven't got anything nice to say about someone, then don't say anything at all', rather than an attempt to impede any possible contact between you, your brother and your father.
I don't think you're looking for someone to blame. I think you are a child who is missing their parent, trying to make sense of their unexplained absence.
I pray you have the chance to be in your father's company and that you get the chance to help maintain and sustain a relationship with your father.
Cheers
Jewelz

[Missing You]

Jewelz wrote:

Missing You, can I ask how old you are?
If your father does in fact know your address and phone number how is it your mother's fault your father has no contact with you? Does she hide letters/parcels or gifts he sends? Does she hang up on your father when he phones? Does she tell your father you are not home when he phones?
I believe that the parent that doesn't reside with their children, has a duty to maintain and sustain the relationship with their children or I belive the old 'Outta sight, outta mind syndrome' starts to set in. I think they have to make a little more effort than the parents that get to walk in the door to their children everynight.
I'd like to think your mother's reluctance to talk about your father is her way of carrying out the old saying 'If you haven't got anything nice to say about someone, then don't say anything at all', rather than an attempt to impede any possible contact between you, your brother and your father.
I don't think you're looking for someone to blame. I think you are a child who is missing their parent, trying to make sense of their unexplained absence.
I pray you have the chance to be in your father's company and that you get the chance to help maintain and sustain a relationship with your father.
Cheers
Jewelz

Iam 16 abd my lil brother is 8. We have been at the same location for over eight years, just as well as having the same phone number. I really dont think my my would hang up on him if he call iam on the phone the moso lol. She only said that maybe my dad is going threw some things,and that she have nothing to say to him. his actions is by choice and not force. But she went on to say anyway he have a baby on the way how did she know that? Lsat i talked to him was last year sometime and it didnt go to well. I stay in chicago and he call me froma (815) area code. Lord knows i miss him

[candy]

most of them leave because they like the sex but don't want the chore of raising a family. alot of times they leave for someone older that has kids and care more about them than they do their own children. in the long run you are better off without them,they will only use you to take care of their second family and they really don't give a damn about you! you will survive ,i did. the best thing they can do for you is leave you along and let you have a normal life and not be used as a pawn against your mother their ex's.most of the fathers and mothers that leave really don't want you or care about you, so it's better not to let them hurt you. you will overcome!!!

[FeAtHeR]

Missing You wrote:

My mom is a single mother, she does her best for me and my brother and she dont ask anyone for anything. But i miss my father, she dont never say anything about him, or try to locate him! All she says is he knows the phone number and address if he wants to talk to you he will call or visit.
Do you think its her fault hes not around or is it me just needing someone to blame? I miss him!!!

DEPENDING ON YOUR AGE, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE THE RESPONSIBILITY OF CONTACTING YOUR OWN FATHER AND ASK HIM why don't you come around ?

[Bunkie78]

Missing U,

My heart goes out to you as the child of an absent parent I know the pain and confusion you are going through. Let me explain my situation.
My parents divorced when I was 4, my father moved to another state. My father was forced to be in my life by his mother (my grandmother.) I saw him 4 times a year. Easter Sunday, a week in the summer, Thanksgiving day, and the weekend before Christmas. Because these "visits" we not his choice he paid little to no attention to me. In fact he did everything he could to avoid interacting with me. When I became an adult I made all the attempts to stay in contact. He rarely called and never visited me. Two years ago I stopped speaking with him completely. It was the best thing I have ever done for myself.
The only thing I can tell you is his behavior is not your fault. He is the one with a problem not you or your brother. Second you have got to learn to be the bigger and better person. It's a shame that you can not just *be* 16, but a part of you has to be the grown up, because obviously he can't. You have to forgive him for his despicable actions (or lack there of) so that you can heal and go on with your life. Third you have to let it go. Don't drag this burden with you your whole life, you are better then that, you don't deserve that.
Also your mothers words show how much she loves you and your bother. It takes an incredibly loving mother to not speak ill of your father. My mother was the same way, no matter how much of a jerk my father was to me or her she never spoke ill of him, she just said nothing at all. I know now as an adult his actions toward me hurt her very deeply, but she always hoped he would change and she did not want to say anything that would make me think negatively of him, just in case.
I am learning about Buddhism and Buddhist believe that each of us pick our parents before we are born. One reason we pick who we pick is because we have something to learn about ourselves from them. You will learn something about yourself from this relationship, please focus on making it a positive thing about yourself.
My heart goes out to you, and I wish you all the best.

[dave]

hello