Turkish Jokes

[Joke]

Turkish Joke
This forum is open to everybody, if you have good joke for Turks please do not hesitate to post it. I am sure I will get very harsh reaction from Turks, but I do this for fun and bottom line I don’t care.
Thanks
Joke
Here is my first joke:

Three Turks Esker, Ali and Mehmet have decided to travel to Greece and when they see the first Greek they will hit the crab out of him because Greeks think they are low IQ nation and call them (Donkey=Esheg).
While they were driving toward Athens they see a Greek boy walking cross the road, they think this is the one so they stop him and….
Esker says: hey Greek boy we came all the way from Ankara to kick your ass
Greek boy says: Why, what I have done wrong?
Esker says: You Greeks are calling us esheg so it’s time to get our revenge.
Greek boy says: But do you think it’s fair; you guys are three against of one.
Three Turks they think and after long thinking and argument among themselves finally they came to conclusion and they get back to Greek boy:
Ali says to Greek boy: I think you are right it’s not fair so we decided that I will be in your side and fight with them (Esker and Mehment) and we are going to be a good team and kick (Esker and Mehment) their ass.
Greek boy say: But, you know what I have to go to class, I already late.
Ali after long thinking turns to Greek boy and says:
You know what you go to your class; I will kick their ass by myself alone.

[Nimos]

One day a Turk and his camel were walking in a desert when they meet a stranger. Stranger asks: Where are you going with this donkey ?
Turk replies: Are you blind to see this is not a donkey ?
Stranger quickly replies: I am not talking to you, I am talking to camel.

[Nimos]

2nd joke- I hope you enjoy this one

A Turk who was carpenter was working with his son, suddenly the electric saw breaks and chops his ear off, after a few minutes searching his son founds an ear and says to his dad, is this your ear?
father looks at the ear and says no, mine had a pencil on it.

[Persian]

I loved it, so funny
please post more
Thanks

[Persian]

Q: What do you call a Turk with half a brain? A: Gifted

[Persian]

One day a Turk was going to kill himself in front of the train. Also had a Piece of bread in his hand. Someone asks: what are you doing? He says: I am going to kill myself. Other asks: Why do you have bread in your hand? He says:If it happens that the train does not come, you want me to starve to death?

[Righteous]

nice jokes really...

we have some for you too ,
here goes one.

pope juan pablo II dies and goes to heaven.
the guardian angel san pedro welcome him and
asks his name to check the admission list...
he goes My name is juan pablo II .
the angel says cmon in and hand him over a patch
of cloud to sit on and a hollow over his head.

pope happy looking around couple of minutes ,
surprises with a huge ten acre cloud , a huge castle
and lots of angels pampering one guy from a distance...

pope asks hey who is this guy ??
is he our lord jesus ???
one angel says no of course not ...!
pope goes then who is he with such privilege ???
the angel says, ah him ... he is a persian ...!

then pope says how come ??? I was a pope ,
never committed a sin , I always prayed etc.
they gave me this bullshit small patch of cloud
and look at this persian guy with a huge castle
this aint fair , I dont understand he says .

the angels goes, look pope , we have many saints,
angels , popes , a lot of good people here but...

we have only one persian, here in heaven...!!!

[Niko]

100% Greek Jokes
Three Greeks and Three Turks

Three Greeks, Costa, George and Niko as well as three Turks, Melik, Alican and Bora are travelling by train to a conference. At the station, the Turks each buy one ticket and watch as the Greeks buy only a single ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks Melik. "Watch and you'll see," answers Costa. They all board the train. The Turks take their respective seats but all three Greeks cram into a restroom and close the door behind them.

Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

The Turks saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the Turks decide to copy the Greeks on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all that). When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Greeks don't buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says Alican. "Watch and you'll see," answers Niko.

When they board the train the 3 Turks cram into a restroom and the 3 Greeks cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the Greeks leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the Turks are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please."

[Niko]

In a train carriage there were a Greek man, a Turkish man, a spectacular looking blonde and a frightfully awful looking fat lady. After several minutes of the trip the train happens to pass through a dark tunnel, and the unmistakable sound of a slap is heard. When they leave the tunnel, the Turkish man had a big red slap mark on his cheek.(1) The blonde thought:- "That Turkish idiot wanted to touch me and by mistake, he must have put his hand on the fat lady, who in turn must have slapped his face".(2) The fat lady thought:- "This dirty old Turkish man laid his hands on the blonde and she smacked him".(3) The Turkish man thought:- "That stupid Greek man put his hand on that blonde and by mistake she slapped me".(4) The Greek man thought:- "I hope there's another tunnel soon so I can smack that Turko again".

[Joke]

After the Turkish Parliament voted to disallow American troops in Turkey for an Iraq war, Turkish prime minister Bulent Ecevit phoned President George W Bush:

“I had a dream about the United States” he said.“I could see the whole country, and over every building and home was a banner,” said Ecevit.

“What was on the banner?” asked President Bush.

“Long live Turkish-American friendship” answered the Turkish prime minister.

“I'm so glad you called” said President Bush.“I, too, had a dream. In my dream, I saw Turkey and it was more beautiful than ever; totally rebuilt with many tall, gleaming office buildings, large residential subdivisions with swimming pools in every yard; and over every building and home was a big, beautiful banner.”

“What did the banner say?” asked Mr. Ecevit.

“I don't know,” answered the president,“I can't read Greek.”

[Joke]

A Greek and a Turki were sitting at a party. Someone told a turkish Joke and the Greek guy got offended. The Greek guy walked up to the Turki and asked him, "Don't you get offended when you hear these Turki jokes." The Turki replied, "for you they are jokes for us they are memories."

[meme hali yunanoglou]

Persian wrote:

Q: What do you call a Turk with half a brain? A: Gifted

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HI HI HI HI! GOOOOOOD ONEEEE!!!

[Persian]

one persian man showed a turk a kiwi and asked what it is.
The turk said:I don't know but it looks like an egg but i don't know who put a carpet on it

[Persian]

Turk doctor is working in the lab. on a frog and he suppose to report the result to his boss, he puts the frog on the table, and hits on the table and says jump, frog jumps, later he cuts one of the frog's leg and hits on the table and says jump,frog jumps again, finally he cuts the frog's other leg and hits on the table and says jump, frog which didn't have any legs couldn't jump, then doctor writes on his report, if we cut both legs of a frog, frog goes deaf.

[Persian]

The father of a turkish family died, so it is the responsibility of the eldist son of the family th bury him. So the son takes his father and tells his family he will be back in a hour. 5 hours passed and the turk came back all brused up and bleeding.
His family asked him "what happend, why are you all brused up and bleeding?
The Turk said he wouldn't stay in the grave"

[Joke]

Please check link bellow:
http://video.google.com/videoplay...
you estimate turks IQ

[meme hali yunanoglou]

Persian wrote:

The father of a turkish family died, so it is the responsibility of the eldist son of the family th bury him. So the son takes his father and tells his family he will be back in a hour. 5 hours passed and the turk came back all brused up and bleeding.
His family asked him "what happend, why are you all brused up and bleeding?
The Turk said he wouldn't stay in the grave"

HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

[meme hali yunanoglou]

Persian wrote:

Turk doctor is working in the lab. on a frog and he suppose to report the result to his boss, he puts the frog on the table, and hits on the table and says jump, frog jumps, later he cuts one of the frog's leg and hits on the table and says jump,frog jumps again, finally he cuts the frog's other leg and hits on the table and says jump, frog which didn't have any legs couldn't jump, then doctor writes on his report, if we cut both legs of a frog, frog goes deaf.
HA HA HA!!!! MY FRIEND UR JOKES AREC REALLY GREAT!!!!

HA HA!!!! MY FRIEND UR JOKES AREC REALLY GREAT!!!!

[Persian]

One day a Turk goes to the city looking for a job. He finds a job with the city paramedics as a driver. On his first day on the job he is dispatched to an emergency call which required him to turn on his red lights and siren.
As he attempts to turn on his red lights, he realized his lights didn't work.
He attempted to turn on his siren, again the siren didn't work either.
So as a last resort, he rolled down his window all the way down.
He stuck his head out and loudley yelled..
GALDEM...GALDEM...GALDEM...GAL DEM...
(it means turkish I am comming)...

[Persian]

A Greek, a Azerbijani and a Turk were travelling on a plane, with a bunch of kids. It appeared that there was a problem with the engine and everybody had to jump.
Greek said: we must save the kids!
Azerbijani said: fuck the kids. Turk said: Do we have time for that?